The
origins of my art can most probably be found in my illness. It
has been so powerful as to influence my entire artistic creation.
Even in childhood powerful images emerged. I drew disfigured branches,
old and rotten trees or withered flowers in landscapes.
I brought the most beautiful witches and
the ugliest faces to paper; my innermost dream had been taken
from me and art had petrified inside me;
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Kohle, Rückenakt,
Selbstdarstellung, 76 x 56 cm |
So
I sought the confrontation with my real self over and over again.
I portrayed myself mercilessly, thus discovering myself as a woman.
The self-portraits, in particular those
from the past few years, reflect the preoccupation with life in
a difficult and troubled period which has left traces.
However, they have made a woman self-confident,
a woman who has learnt to love herself.
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Kohle, Selbstdarstellungen,
The Death with child, 56x 76 cm
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Rötel, Doppelportrait, 56 x 56 cm .
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Twenty
years have passed since I broke free from numbness and started drawing
again. It was a woman friend of mine who delivered me from my artistic
paralysis and encouraged me to fulfil my heart's desire. Why not
try to be creative again with pencil and crayon?
By and by I carefully approached pictorial
art and studied the works of my 'artistic idols' again.
I had always been fascinated by Toulouse-Lautrec,
by Rembrandt, by the Hunchback of Notre-Dame, the Phantom of the
Opera and Rigoletto, the hunchback in the very same Verdi opera.
I felt close to them. Like myself, they had fought before being
able to love themselves.
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Rötel, Selbstdarstellung, 56 x 76 cm
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Now I am drawing breasts with expressive
nipples, stretch out pubic hair to the observer; the large hunchback
does not disfigure my body. Like millions of women around the world,
this allows me to stand upright and invites the watcher to see me
as a woman.
Big eyes, full of expression, are looking
into the world, questioning themselves if people see me as I am?
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